Lost my Tinder virginity to the president.

My culprit: BURAK, nicknamed Obama for obvious reasons

Burak is a Turkish investment banker who lured me on my very first Tinderdate. He had so many things going for him: correct grammar, good spelling, a nice smile, not to mention he was avoiding all the cat-related sexual innuendos that seem to come hand and hand with Tinder boys. He also had a little fringy fringe that I for some reason found very endearing. A real keeper! 

We met on a Sunday afternoon at a cafe that served some seriously good coffee (on my suggestion) and then wandered around Chinatown for a bit. He told me a little bit about finance (snore), but we had some good witty banter going between us and his eyes were nice. His fringy fringe was even better than his photos showed - and it kept getting in his eyes and I’d laugh. The date ended with some mutual sneaky kisses before we got on the streetcar - YES! We love sneaky kisses! 

However, this is where the OBAMA EXPERIENCE goes downhill. Obama bails on the second date - a dinner - with the excuse that he was in hospital with a heart condition. Elaborate excuse or legitimate health scare? He rescheduled for a second coffee a few days later. He shows up - with a cane. And not a Great Gatsby swag style cane with a small blade hidden inside a hollow mahogany stick. A very practical, retirement home style cane. When I inquire about it, he informs me that it happens IN THE HOSPITAL, while treating his mystery heart condition. He then goes on, without any encouragement, to inform me of all the other times he has had health scares. There was that time he thought he had brain cancer, there was that time he broke his elbow, and my personal favorite being the big AIDS scare he had last year. “But don’t worry, the tests came back negative”. This boy knows how to flirt.

Walking to the station to say our goodbyes, he seems to make a final ditch attempt to swoon me. 

"So my dad is really against gay marriage."

"Oh…. really?"

"Nawh, I just wanted to see what your reaction would be!"

Summary: Lost my Tinder virginity to a heart scaring & cane bearing US president. Made me question my reasons for joining Tinder. 

thegoddamazon:

iwillmindfuckyou:

frigginflamingfawkes:

image

this is literally the greatest audio post that has been posted on this stupid website

LMFAOOOOOOOO I AM SO DONE WHY IS THIS BACK ON MY FUCKING DASH

It’s the last day of June.

choc-o-late:

Here are some reminders to help you get through next month:

  • Nothing can separate you from the love of God.
  • In all things God works for the good of those who love him.
  • You have no need to worry about the future; God is sovereign.
  • Jesus came to set you free from sin. 
  • You are made new in Christ Jesus.
  • Your sins have been paid for, and you are forgiven.
  • God resides in you.
  • You are fearfully and wonderfully made.

Enjoy July!

meghanjanee:

Her body though.

meghanjanee:

Her body though.